Hi Ali,

I hope you’re doing well. 

I want you to know that I have always cared deeply about you, and I am here whenever you are ready to connect. I think about you every day, and I hope this helps you feel just how much I love you, and explains to you why we have not seen each other or spent any time together since 2018.

I have been there for you since your birth. The nurses at Werribee Hospital told me there were complications, and when I arrived at the hospital and was shown to the waiting area, there were some people also waiting. I soon found out that they were some of your uncles and aunties, so I met them at your birth, and we have stayed in touch ever since.

I want to remind you of some of the wonderful times we spent together and the effort I made over the years so you could spend meaningful and quality time with me, including attending your school events, organising family gatherings, and going to court to try and create consistent time together.

Through it all, my focus has always been on spending meaningful and quality time with you, making memories, and supporting your wellbeing. My love and care for you never stopped, even when things around us made it hard for us to stay close. Being apart has caused me real sadness, and I truly wish we can renew the special bond we shared. My love for you has never gone away.

I hope you can recall these enjoyable times together, some of our favourite activities included:

• Geocaching (caching) after school, on weekends, and during school holidays. Exploring together was always so much fun, and I loved seeing your excitement when we found each cache.

• Teaching you how to ride your bike in the park across from my house. I remember your laughter and the big grin on your face as you learned to balance and pedal., I was so proud of you.

• Flying kites on weekends and playing on the park equipment together across the road. Those carefree days are some of my happiest memories.

• Making pancakes, yummie muffins, and popcorn for home movies. I loved seeing your smile as we enjoyed them together.

• Gardening and cooking with Grandmah at her house in Laverton. She would also enjoy more time together with you, as she is in her 80s and getting older.

• Setting up your bedroom with pictures of your chosen cartoon characters on the walls, placing stars on the ceiling together, and stickers on the underside timber slats of the top bunk so you could see them while lying in bed. I wanted your space to feel magical and full of joy.

• Building forts in the front room with cardboard and sheets. Our little adventures made ordinary days unforgettable.

• Going on day trips in my dark green Ford ute. Every drive was a chance to talk, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company.

• I remember the first time we went camping and you had so many questions, we set up the tent with giggles and laughs, then we went on walking adventures on the tracks which led us to a lovely gorge where we all sat and took pictures. What fun we had those days.

• Walking with Grandmah to and from your swimming lessons at Paul Sadler Swimland, Laverton. I was always so proud of you, cheering you on even from the sidelines, where you earned many awards and certificates for your achievements. Your bedroom wall is full of them.

I also arranged a few catch-ups with your uncles so you could meet and play with all of your cousins, as your mother did not communicate with her family to organise these events. I wanted you to know the joy of being surrounded by family and to feel loved by them as well.  There is a picture of all of you together at Williamstown on your desk in your room.

It was very hard at times for you to be able to spend meaningful and quality time with me and stay in touch because of legal issues and other decisions that got in the way. Over the years, I attended court many, many times, and it was continually taking its toll on me, both mentally and financially. 

In 2018, I faced the very difficult decision to represent myself in court and I asked to stop all proceedings and time together. I did this for a few reasons, but mainly and hopefully to stop the interruptions to your life. I wanted to give you some form of normality, without the constant stop-and-start of our time together. It was a very hurtful and hard decision to make, but I made it on your behalf because I could see it was affecting you also. 

Even though I stepped back from the court proceedings, I continued to send birthday, Christmas, and special occasion cards, which I hope you have seen and enjoyed. I also tried to attend your school events, including swimming lessons, athletics days, concerts, and other activities, but I was sometimes blocked by the schools, Sacred Heart Newport and Mount St. Joseph Girls College Altona North.

I can only imagine the pain you felt when you didn’t see me anymore, without any information from me as to why (which was out of my control). I am so sorry this happened, and I am happy to discuss this with you when you are ready.

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Ali, even though we haven’t seen each other for years, I think about you every day, wondering how you feel, what you’re going through, what you’re achieving now, and wishing I could help you with life’s challenges.

If you ever want to reach out and when you’re ready, you can contact me safely through the contact page, I’ll always respond.

Ali, this is my only way to reach out to you. I hope it reminds you of the happy times we shared and lets you know just how much I love you. I’m really looking forward to hearing from you as soon as you are ready, so we can start creating more fun memories together at your pace. It's been a long time since we've spoken or seen each other, and I've missed you so much. I hope that one day we can talk, but until then, I just want you to know that I am here for you.

Come on Ali, let's get this happening!!

With all my love,
Dad. xoxo